Shh...don't tell anyone. But this is the only thing I've written all week. And we all know what Kafka says, "An unwriting writer is a monster courting insanity."
So, enter this blog at your own risk.
I'm mostly kidding (and goofing around on giphy - sincere apologies to anyone with seizure or migraine disorder or fear of photoshopped creepy kids). I don't think I'm who Kafka was talking about. I don't think of myself as a writer - those are the people who NPR talks about and who win all-important prizes. You know, the people who write like this:
“–I'll just play the notes inside my skull alone in the dark where they roam around loose. 'Cause playing like a slave, I'd just step myself straight into a hangman's noose
---Olio by Tyehimba Jess
Yeah, those people would go mad if they stopped writing (and the rest of us would weep).
I'm not one of them.
I'm a storyteller. That's what I call myself. I don't have the education or training to be much more. I write specific stories for a hard-to-find audience. An audience that may not exist per an experience I had at Storymakers in Provo and what that means.
At Storymakers, we had opportunities to sit in small groups with an editor for a major LDS publisher and give an informal story pitch. I sat. I met. I pitched.
Editor #1 said, "Well, our readers only want escapist reads. We reject most anything with a deeper sentiment, even if we think it's a good novel."
Editor #2 said, "We only publish things we'd be comfortable reading to our grandmothers. There's a lot of things grandmothers aren't comfortable reading about that are common topics in mainstream literature."
Neither one said no directly, but all of the other authors in our group have received phone calls to tell them their stories have been accepted while my phone has been silent.
And I'm sad. And silent. I think that's okay. Even God said that being still can be where He's found - and I need Him to show me who is waiting on this storyteller. I believe there's an audience for my stories and He has a plan. Maybe I'll figure it out soon.